David Bentley admits that sometimes even he forgets that he's still at Spurs
Portsmouth bell man enters administration, will be deducted 10 tattoos
Moussa-T Dembele: "I'm horny. Horny, horny, horny."
Newcastle warned that value of Demba Ba may go down as well as up
AVB plans BBQ with his new CFC MONEY
Ipswich Town clubshop reduce price of 9-0 Man Utd defeat video for fourth time
Newcastle warned that if they do not keep up Ba repayments the Sports Direct Arena may be repossessed
Martin O'Neill blames unspecified glitch for Steve Bruce Twitter unfollow
Burlesque fan McCoist reveals excitement at Rangers asset-stripping
Abramovich admits Russia's thirst for regime change got to him

Tottenham and Chelsea fans prepare for big FA Cup weekend in glamorous London

Small-towners delighted at opportunity to take in a show and pay £12 for an average Spaghetti Carbonara at top restaurant Zizzi’s

Ask Gary Mabbutt: Your problems solved by The Gaffer's resident agony uncle Gary Mabbutt; Latest: “Third party ownership might break my heart”
Joe Cole's Letter From Lille: Liverpool loan star writes exclusively for The Gaffer. En Francçais, naturellement; Latest: Numéro un – Down and out à Londres St Pancras et à Lille
Leathered: Salacious A-List football gossip with our man Matt Sharp; Latest: Wreckhead refs run rampant
The Inside Man: Transfer rumours from a seasoned hack (in a hat); Latest: Karren Brady’s XXX emails from Lord Sugar spell West Ham trouble
Tim Lovejoy's World Of Banter: Popular media figure and proper football fan Tim writes exclusively for The Gaffer; Latest: Why I Love The Beautiful Game # 7 – Monday Night Football
Too Many Crooks: The serialised autobiography of former Norwich City midfielder Ian Crook; Latest: Chapter 10 – Wimpy

Round Ups: Dispatches from around the footballing world; Latest: Women’s football
The Big Debate: Football experts give their views on the issues of the day; Latest: Has football become racist again?
Tipping Point: Betting advice on this weekend's games in association with stat kings ATOP; Latest: Pre-season betting madness

Football Explained: The Gaffer's encyclopaedia of footballing terminology; Latest: The Makélélé role
Where Are They Now?: Catching up with the footballing favourites of yesteryear; Latest: Manchester United 9 – 0 Ipswich Town
Which Are You?: Find out exactly what you are through a simple multiple-choice quiz; Latest: Which football shirt manufacturer are you?

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Delving through history so you don't have to

...in 2003 England win the Rugby World Cup and the sport overtakes football in popularity for the first time, a position it has held ever since
...in 1971 Repeal of the primitive Victorian legislation that outlawed keepy-uppies as a form of masturbation
...in 1965 Geoff Hurst admits to a friend that he has absolutely no anecdotes about his life so far
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Cold, hard, smooth statistical facts

2.4 Children, the sitcom Nile Ranger watches to take his mind off football
404 Internet error code which frequently frustrates novice computer user Harry Redknapp
Se7en Joey Barton's second favourite Morgan Freeman film after March of the Penguins
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Text words to 07500 295 178

First Glen Johnson steals toilet seat. Now Ant Worrall-Thompson steals cheese. I say bring back death penalty. - Clive, Humberside
I agree with Clive, sudden death penalties are super! - Stefan, Germany
IF ANY1 DESERVES DEATH IS PREMIER LEAGUE REFS! THAT WAS NEVER A RED!!!!111 - Smiley Rod, Burwash
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