Wreckhead refs run rampant

Don’t say you haven’t been warned when the lads from the Ref’s Association roll into town.

A coachload of football history fans were gutted after being turned away from Preston’s National Football Museum yesterday, due to a rowdy private function taking place inside. The noisy bedlam was the work of hunky hellraisers HOWARD WEBB, MARK CLATTENBURG and KEITH STROUD, enjoying the latest stop on their hard-drinking promotional tour for the 2010 Rothmans Referee Almanac.

It was almost impossible to hear Keith explain progress in goal line technology amid the din of screaming girls in attendance, and if anyone caught Mark’s views on video refs then let me know, ’cause I was looking after a ‘tired and emotional’ Howard who’d had one too many double Baileys.

Police had to intervene a number of times, at one point asking three overzealous ladies to clamber down from the Sir Tom Finney Statue outside Deepdale.

The trio appear to be thriving on the hysteria they’re whipping up on their whistlestop tour of the country. Last week at the KitKat Crescent in York Mark was spotted handing out customised yellow cards to female passers by who were calling out his name.

Our spy said: “It’s a little competition he has with Howard. Mark writes his number on the back, and the lads are keeping a tally of how many calls he gets.”

What will on-off girlfriend and star of The Cruise JANE MCDONALD make of Mark’s antics? I suspect she’s none-too-pleased, but will she ship him off any time soon?!

Spotted – Football celebs out and about
Andy Townsend using the self-service check-ins at Luton airport
Simon Grayson applauding enthusiastically at the end of a performance of Calender Girls in London’s fashionable West End
Brian Little queueing patiently to get his copy of Frankie Boyle’s autobiography signed at Waterstone’s on Oxford Street

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