Round Ups

Women’s football

women's footballThe Hollyoaks, Michael Buble & Dairy Milk Women’s Premier League entered its penultimate weekend with England’s top femme foot-als battling to secure the coveted Lambrini Trophy and £250 of Topshop vouchers.

The league, which is bankrolled by radio funnyman Chris Moyles, has undergone numerous changes in an attempt to attract new fans to the game over the past few weeks. Unlike men’s football, the HMBACPL is played during the summer months to avoid clashing with X-Factor and to allow players a safer journey to and from the ground while it’s still light outside. The other change from the men’s game being the lack of an offside rule for obvious reasons.

Last year’s champions, FC Baby Shower of Hull, look unlikely to repeat their 2010 heroics after a 2-2 draw at midtable AFC Womanbledon kept them seven points off the top with just a game to go. Baby Shower’s Jean Windass opened the scoring with a fine lob after a defensive mix up, but just two minutes later The Don’s Bethan Ekoku finished with a delightful chip over the keeper after some poor defending. There was still time for Jen Fashanu to lift the ball over the goalie after being gifted the ball by the Hull defence, but Baby Shower later rounded off the scoring as Nicola Barmby’s long ball deceived the Dons keeper after some uncertain defending.

Andy Gray & Richard Keys were at Queef Street to present Danielle Nardiello with her Girl of the Month award and also witnessed a master class in finishing as the Sex in the Exeter City striker scored twice to defeat Lewes Women, both times finishing high into the net over onrushing Lewes keeper Cammy Hands. The win secures the Devon club an adventure in next season’s 2 Girl’s 1 Europa Cup, providing they can overcome Italian side Garlic Bread in the preliminary round. Bread  finished 2nd in La Donna Summer (Italian Women’s League) behind Florence Nightingale.

Despite baking conditions, Huddersfield Strumpets preferred to play football over making cakes, and secured their safety with a 2-0 success at already relegated Loughboroughjettes.  Elsewhere, the Virginia Wolves ran riot at The Vagina Molineux as Sylvia Ebanks-Blake and Georgina Elekobi both bagged hat-tricks in a 6-0 destruction of Glee Club.

The title was all but sewn up at Brookside Close as Post Natal De Preston put last season’s disappointing campaign behind them to clinch victory over Liverpool Zumba, much to the delight of their perma-tanned manager Phyllis Brown. Next week the triumphant Lancashire side, nicknamed the “sad mums”, can look forward to receiving the trophy from bad boy prison heartthrob Peter Sutcliffe as they take on the below average Size Zero of Manchester.

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