Manchester United starlet Wayne Rooney shocked a delicate nation to its core on Saturday by celebrating a goal with a volley of indistinguishable swearing directly into a Sky Sports camera, and straight into the impressionable minds of children and women everywhere. Most viewers had never heard such coarse language before, so were oblivious to the offence Rooney caused. But those that know their fuck from their bollocks think the England hot-head has gone too far this time and have called for a lifetime ban. Should the FA unleash the full and furious power of its disciplinary might?
Kids up and down the country would have copied Rooney on Sunday. He scored a terrific hat trick, so as far as I’m concerned this is great news.
Trevor Brooking
Why is Wayne Rooney so angry? When I was playing the only thing that would provoke similar scenes was being asked not to smoke at half time.
Harry Redknapp
Rooney is what is known in some schools as a lazy fucking thick honky … I’ve said too much.
Big Ron Atkinson
The swearing looked even better on our 3D coverage. The words came flying out of his mouth like the cartoon exclamations in Batman fights. Upgrade now for just £12.99 a month.
Rupert Murdoch
Banned for life? Fucked for fuck, more like. Eh Motty? Eh?! EH!?! … I’m sacked, aren’t I?
Mark Lawrenson
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