At this time of the year, many footballers struggle with their personal demons. Whether it’s worrying about which pair of jeans to wear at the Christmas knees-up or having to rush through 18 holes after training as the nights draw in, we’ve all got more on our metaphorical plates. Doctors say that more and more players suffer from SAD (set-piece affective disorder), while others can’t sleep without having nightmares about the cold slap of a football against the thigh.
It’s in these circumstances, readers, that Mabbuttsy goes to work …
Dear Uncle Gary,
The other day after training, one of my team-mates confronted me with photographs from an evening I spent having secret contract discussions with another agent in a top London restaurant. He knows my regular agent, who I’ve been with for several years, and he has threatened to expose me if I don’t break off our negotiating sessions.
My current agent has helped me commit to several lucrative longterm contracts and I don’t want to hurt him, but what if I can get better terms elsewhere? Should I tell my team-mate to mind his own boot deals and risk him ruining my chances of happiness, or would it be better to put an end to all the lies and come clean?
Scott P, the East End
Mabbutt says: I think it was Bill Shakespeare who said, “The course of true love never did run smooth.” Of course, in Shakespeare’s day, the Bosman ruling didn’t apply, so we have to be careful of reading too much into his words.
Although the way you’ve gone about things sets a bad example to youth-team players, I have to question your team-mate’s motives. Would a real friend put you in a position like that? I remember when I first joined Spurs, Micky Hazard was forever trying to get me to apply his Deep Heat for him. It’s not the same but I think you get the picture.
My advice is to follow your heart. Agents know the game and sometimes in life it’s best to keep things short and sweet (while always being aware of the dangers of hyperglycaemia, of course).
Dear Uncle Gary,
Does wearing pink boots make me less of a man?
Super Nick, N. London
Mabbutt says: I’m not one of those oldtimers who look down on today’s modern, metrosexual footballers. We may not have had hair gel and neck warmers in my day, but I always loved the sensation of having my stockings pulled up high, and still do.
Although members of the Rainbow Nation (gays, not South Africans) may still be unwelcome in the dressing room, their sense of fashion has been widely, and rightly, adopted. Enjoy expressing yourself, but remember to be careful – or you might end up with something that even a carefully managed sugar intake can’t cure.
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