The Inside Man

Craig Bellamy’s home is where his heart isn’t

Hello readers, and welcome to what they’re calling Popbitch for the jumpers-for-goalposts generation. If anyone asks (and they will), you aint seen me, right? Keep ’em peeled …

  • Football’s Mr Nice, Craig Bellamy, has let it be known through an intermediary that while his heart will always be at Manchester City, he has decided to move back to Wales to be nearer to his dear old mum. Suggestions that the striker didn’t get on with Roberto Mancini are said to be wide of the Mark (Hughes) and, so I’m told, Craig is very keen to “introduce Signor Mancini to his golf club” the next time he’s in the Cardiff area.
  • It’s been one of the sagas of the summer, the cafes and bistros of north London abuzz with will-he-won’t-he speculation. I’ve been on overtime providing tip-offs to the red tops, ringing up Catalan radio stations and posting on club message boards but at last I can finally reveal the final word on the subject (full stop): Barnet starlet Danny Hart will not be making an emotional return to Girona, where he once spent a fortnight on holiday.
  • Not all Premier League clubs are the well-run organisations they seem to be. In fact, some of them are in debt.
  • My Swiss môle has discovered that England are preparing to submit a bid to host the 2018 World Cup. Sources at FIFA HQ say that the FA is keen to improve on England’s impressive last-16 showing in South Africa by ensuring that football really does come home in eight years’ time – although you wonder why they’d go to all the trouble seeing as you can watch the whole thing on telly nowadays.
  • Keep this one under your hat, but Ian Holloway may not be as “madcap” or “zany” as certain sections of the press like to suggest. Last week I found myself behind him in the queue at Tesco and what should I spy in his basket? A cheese and tomato sandwich, some Horlicks, a tub of vanilla ice cream and a bumper book of word searches.

THIS WEEK’S SHUFFLING, DRIBBLING, SHOOTING-UP GOSSIP: Imagine all the people, singing this lad’s name in perfect harmony (not on the terraces, granted). When you next see him Beatling up and down the touchline at Abbey (White) Road (Hart) Studios (Lane), ask yourself: is it a coincidence that his favourite member of the Fab Four was John? Or that they were both born in northern cities beginning with L? Or that both are/were considered instrumental to their team/group? He’s not as much of a left-winger as his Dad, but he’ll do a job if asked to Help! out. If you think You-ko O-know the answer, then get in touch.

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