The Inside Man

Tough times for Charlie Adam

Hello there. It’s been a big old month for me, what with Jools Assange making life a lot tougher for us whistleblowers. All I’ll say is that the plans I had for a free-for-all tell-all Chairboys website Wycombeleaks have been put firmly on ice. However, here are a few bits of info on the QT that will set your pulse racing.

  • What a transfer deadline day it was, eh? Aside from the major news of Stephen Ireland joining Newcastle on loan, the day’s other big story was Charlie Adam not moving from Blackpool. Adam is in for a difficult time at Bloomfield Road after his move fell through, apparently Ian Holloway will be punishing him in the only way he knows how: a two-week ban on the midfielder from enjoying his manager’s quips.
  • Relationships are strained between the popular Sky anchor Richard Keys and pundit Jamie Redknapp after an argument over an unwanted Christmas present. Apparently Keys heard the Redknapp-Nurdings were not displaying the ornamental vase he had bought them and in a secret recorded confrontation which has been leaked to yours truly he blasted at Redknapp “Did you smash it?” Mocking Redknapp’s infamous clumsiness Keys continued: “Mind you, that is a stupid question, if you were anywhere near it. You definitely smashed it.”
  • Having looked at the family tree I can confirm the news that a lot of Liverpool fans have been dreading: King Kenny actually has no royal blood at all. In another blow, this will end calls for Paul Dalglish’s upcoming nuptials to be declared a bank holiday on Merseyside.
  • Talking of King Kenny and transfer deadline day, where did he get all that money to buy his new strikeforce? I haven’t the foggiest.
  • Finally, Chris Powell is a 24 carat prick.

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