Football Explained

Running Down The Clock

“Running down the clock” is an archaic football rule leftover from the first drafts of the referees handbook in Medieval times. Whereas similar rules, such as Pineapple Goalie (where the goalkeeper of the wealthier team was allowed to boast of their riches by placing tropical fruits strategically in the oppositions penalty area), were taken out in the “Great Revision” of 1699, running down the clock slipped through the net and became a mainstay of the modern game.

So how does it work in practice? The fourth official will indicate exactly when running down the clock can commence, having used an elaborate mathematical formula that takes into account the score, the current blood pressure of both managers and full backroom staff, and the ratio of supporters that have begun to “stream for the exits”.

Once this has been announced a striker/attacking midfielder is allowed to take the ball to the oppositions corner flag and pull various predetermined shapes with their arms and legs each time asking the defenders “what time is it?”

If the defenders continue to say the wrong time then the attacking player “pulls another shape”, and asks “what time is it now?” When the defenders do get it correct the attacker has to let them kick the ball out for either a throw-in or a corner. The defender gets two clock points for a throw-in and one for a corner. This process continues until the defenders have landed on each hour of the standard clock face, at which point all of the players involved have to say “banjax” and the process starts afresh, much to the joy of the fans.

Famously, Sepp Blatter hates it.

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