Football Explained

The Big Four

Big Four MeetingThe Big Four is a shadowy society formed in the middle of the noughties by an unknown number of publicity-shy Premier League managers.

No one has ever established what goes on the behind the thick mahogany doors of the club’s unofficial headquarters in a basement below Bramall Lane. This has lead to a number of conspiracy theories that allege, among other things, that its members are planning a European Superleague or some sort of Jewish superstate.

Donal MacIntyre infiltrated the group for an infamous episode of MacIntyre Undercover, but his findings – an antiquated secret handshake system, block-booking tables at mid-price restaurants, use of bluetooth to share ringtones – did little to sate the thirst of the public, who were convinced that the Big Four were up to something more controversial than preventing large groups from dining at Nando’s.

The society’s annual meetings, held in three star country clubs up and down the M6, attract the world’s press and are viewed by many to be the best opportunity to find out what’s really going on. However, the media normally make do with nothing more than blurry pictures of well-dressed men being driven away in blacked out limousines and long lens pictures of Alex Ferguson and Arsene Wenger sharing a chat and a choc ice.

As it happens, more and more observers now believe the group’s activities are not far removed from the mundane events reported by MacIntyre. An English football manager who got close to the group recently revealed that weekends involved nothing more than the rounds of golf, the odd towel whipping and the sacrificial burning of a wicker Brian Barwick.

More from Football Explained