Football Explained

The mixer

The mixer is an area of the pitch that managers will encourage their team to get the ball into when they are running out of time, ideas or playing a team managed by Arsene Wenger. Since its discovery in the 1970s the mixer has been marked out on the pitch by groundsmen as an 18-yard rectangle near the opposition goal. In the 1990s this rather dull shape was decorated with a dot, a smaller rectangle and a bit of semi-circle to make it look pretty for the sport’s new female fans, who otherwise may have got bored during matches.

The mixer was first discovered by Don Revie at Leeds United when he was wondering where it was best for his team to kick the ball to create panic in the opposition. Previous experiments had seen his team instructed to get it in the stands, the centre circle and the staff car park, but none had lead to sustained success on either a domestic or European level.

Revie theorised that once the ball is in the mixer all bets are off and it can pop out in any direction, like Russian Routette but without the spectacle. The only rule governing player behaviour in the mixer is that they must at no point exhibit a skill or flourish and if elbows can be used they must.

Many foreign managers refuse to tell players to get the ball into the mixer as they feel it is uncouth and can lead to bad habits like heading. Instead they instruct players to pass the ball around the blender, the whisk or the pestle and mortar. Which explain themselves.

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