Where Are They Now?

Gazza and the dentist’s chair

Gascoigne dentist chair numbersBack at Euro 96, England had agreed to promote awareness about tooth decay through a sponsorship deal with the Department of Health – leading to Gazza’s famous “dentist’s chair” celebration after scoring against Scotland, a nation notorious for its persecution of dental workers. But what happened to the men whose eye-catching homage to getting a check-up led to packed-out waiting rooms up and down the country during that glorious summer?

1. Paul Gascoigne
A notorious fitness freak, it was Gascoigne’s idea for the England team to enter the realm of public health. Gazza was alienated by team-mates at successive clubs for the excessive zeal with which he promoted abstinence from alcohol and he gave up football in his prime to present a show on Christian radio with his friend and guru the Reverend Jimmy Five Haloes.

2. Alan Shearer
Given the “anaesthetist’s role” at Wembley, despite having no formal NHS training, he was widely criticised for losing control of his bottle and replaced in later productions by Teddy Sheringham. After retiring from football, Shearer screen-tested for a role as a BBC pundit but was overlooked because of his stridently intellectual view of football and flamboyant mannerisms.

3. Jamie Redknapp
Redknapp, the team’s poster boy, did not actually play against Scotland but was positioned pitchside after government spin doctors decided that his clean-cut good looks and trademark “sumo wrestler” pose were essential for the stage-managed shot. Redknapp is now chief spokesmodel for Ciro Citterio.

4. Steve McManaman
McManaman was consumed by shame after his Euro 96 role due to the fact that the mercurial winger also had a mouth full of mercury. A News of the World sting revealed McManaman to have had several fillings as a result of a debilitating addiction to sweets, leading to a memorable appearance on Parkinson in which he later admitted to being “off his tits on sherbet”. Now clean, McManaman runs an eBay business importing cuckoo clocks.

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