Where Are They Now?

Maradona takes on Belgium

1. Diego Maradona - A dedicated but ultimately one-dimensional full-back, renowned for his obsessive fitness regime and penchant for post-modern literature. Maradona struggled to make an impact on world football and is perhaps best known for a controversial incident in the 1982 World Cup group game against Belgium. After receiving a quick Mario Kempes throw-in, Maradona was seen by a global audience and a stunned Belgian defence to reveal his penis, which he had scrawled with the words Maggie es una vaca de mugido. This translated into English as ‘Margret Thatcher is a moo cow’, a defiant political gesture against British involvement in the Falklands War. He received a two match ban for indecent exposure.

2. François Vercauteren – Handsome and with good posture, Vercauteren courted controversy with his love for the high-life, an unpalatable trait for many Lowlanders. Vercautern was a regular at various infamous Brussels nightspots, including Dirk’s Creperie and The Waffle Iron during his playing days. His career ended in controversy after he pulled a mussel (Belgian slang for a minger) the night before the 1986 World Cup semi-final, and was too embarrassed to do the walk of shame back to the hotel. His team-mates boarded the coach without him, losing their rematch with Argentina 2-0. However the episode did lead to 22-years-and-counting of happy marriage to Conchita, who, it turns out, made up for her lack of physical beauty with a warm and caring personality. The couple now run a successful chocolate shop on Rue de Paul in Antwerp.

3. Luc Millecamps – Millecamps (which roughly translates as ‘thousands of tents pitched in close proximity, with outdoor showers and a parking area’) had walk-on parts in each of Belgium’s six successive World Cup campaigns between 1982 and 2002, and also played Pete Townshend in a 2004 biopic of The Who, released to critical acclaim in the Benelux region. The lower part of his face has never been seen. Luc and his footballing brother Marc can now be found in Bruges, where their chocolate-auctioning charity has become legendary, raising thousands of Euros every year for homeless chocolates.

4. René Vandereycken – Famous for his short attention span among his team-mates, Vandereycken spent most of World Cup ’82 bored. In this photo, Vandereycken is actually just moments away from being distracted by the slightly raffish-looking haircut being sported by the gentleman in row C. Unable to focus for 90 seconds, let alone 90 minutes, Vandereycken’s professional nadir came whilst playing for FC Flanders Fields, during a game in which snow fell for the first time in some years. In attempting to admire and record the shape of each individual snowflake, Vandereycken forced his exasperated manager to substitute him after just 12 minutes of the first half. Shortly after finishing his playing career he was elected to the European Parliament in Brussels.

5. Eric Gerets – Best known by many football fans for his brief stint as reserve team coach at Wolfsburg, Gerets played in a record six World Cups. In 1995 Gerets was charged with the kidnap and murder of former Manic Street Preacher Richie Edwards, but was released due to leaked police reports suggesting the only evidence against Gerets was DNA and a corpse. Gerets now runs a popular chocolate shop in Bruges with his wife Mindy.

6. Maurits de Schrijver – Unlike most Belgian footballers, de Schrijver ran a chocolate business before entering the beautiful game, after a scout at Club Brugge spotted him making chocolates at the relatively young age of 36. De Schrijver was not very good, winning just two caps and completing just four passes. Tragedy struck in 2006 when de Schrijver was knocked down and killed by a lorry delivering chocolates while out walking in his native Bruges. Ironically, and perhaps most tragically, de Schrijver was enjoying eating a chocolate at the very moment of impact.

7. Ludo Coeck - Coeck remains extremely keen on the ‘non-matching sweat bands’ look, but is less fond of jokes about his surname, which sounds like ‘cock’.

More from Where Are They Now?