Kit manufacturer Admiral blames England’s 1978 World Cup failure for its decline in fortunes

LEICESTER-BASED kit manufacturer Admiral has pointed to England’s failure to qualify for the 1978 World Cup as the major cause for the company’s catastrophic fall in share price this week.

Speaking at the company’s AGM which doubled as the press launch for Admiral’s bitter commemorative DVD Rigged: Admiral’s Betrayal, MD Mike Bordin identified Italy’s Group 2 qualification on goal difference as the root of Admiral’s decline into football obscurity.

“Basically, England f*cked the group when they lost 2-0 in Rome in 1976,” remembered a clearly still-aggrieved Bordin. “It was always going to be uphill from there with only one qualification spot up for grabs, and we all feel that our failure to secure large club contracts during the 1980s, 90s and 00s stems from this botched campaign.
“We thought we were back in it when Brooking sealed a win in the reverse fixture a year later, but no, they had indeed already absolutely f*cked it, and we’ve been tarnished with that failure ever since”

Admiral, who once manufactured kits for England, Manchester United, Tottenham Hotspur and the Los Angeles Aztecs in the late 1970s, saw a sharp decline following the campaign, which ended in bankruptcy in 1982. The brand was famously stripped of its signature three stripes which were bought at cut-price at a police auction by a young Adi Dassler.

The emergence of Dassler’s stylish rival firm Adidas set Admiral back further, but Bordin rebuked the suggestion that his company ever fell out of fashion.

“Our kits were as stylish as anyone else’s, and I defy anyone who played against an Admiral team to say that they didn’t feel slightly intimidated by our excellent stitchwork and superior Naval theme.

“We stood for quality and tradition. Admiral would have never have made that Mexico 1994 World Cup goalkeeper’s jersey. Horrific. Apparently we’re down there now with Joma, Pony, Jako, and the other nosebleeds. Now they’re pikey.”

Published September 10, 2008

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