Avram Grant to go if Chelsea miss out on Euro 08

AVRAM GRANT will be sacked as Chelsea manager if his team do not win Euro 2008, according to a leaked memo sent by Peter Kenyon. The revelation is a further sign that the top brass at Stamford Bridge have not forgiven Grant for failing to guide Chelsea to victory in the African Cup of Nations.

Kenyon’s memo advises youth team coach Eddie Newton not to worry about a long-standing training ground cone dispute by revealing: “Between you and me Eddie, the Avmeister General’s not likely to be around much longer if he doesn’t do the business in Austria and/or Switzerland this summer. PS: How about lunch on Thursday? Pret a Manger, Kings Road, my shout (no baguettes).”

In spite of the clearest sign yet that the unpopular Blues boss is set for the chop, chairman Bruce Buck has mantained that Grant’s position is not under threat. In a press conference on Sunday evening Buck described Grant as a “well qualified” and “keen” football “coach” who is “literally” not “bad”. Unusually, Buck decided to hold up a sign bearing the words “Everyone at the club believes Avram is the man to take us forward, and he has the full support of the entire Chelsea community,” when faced with any genuinely taxing questions from the gathered media.

Despite Buck’s attempt to calm speculation, Chelsea oligarch Roman Abramovich has made enquires about a replacement for the Israeli, with sources close to the club indicating that contact has been made with the agents of Frank Rijkaard and Vladimir Putin.

Published May 3, 2008

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