DELIRIOUS BLACKPOOL fans were brought down to earth with a bump this morning after a stark warning that everything will “turn from gold to shit” by Christmas if they don’t quit the Premier League now.
An impromptu support group set up by supporters of-one time Premier League clubs has been founded to warn Blackpool fans that the giddy, child-like excitement of a credible early season home draw against a top six prospect can morph into gnawing depression, brought on by comprehensive defeats and routine embarrassment by opposition players with vastly superior technical skills.
“It’s not pretty in the big league”, said celebrity Bradford City fan Gareth Gates. “We’ve been trying to warn Blackpool to spend sensibly and not get carried away about going to Old Trafford, where inevitably the team will be set up to lose by the smallest margin possible.
“They’re all excited about appearing on Match Of The Day and getting new Premier League badges ironed on to their shirts, and who can blame them? But it won’t end well.”
That message appeared to be lost on Blackpool’s most famous supporter, Syd Little, who said: “I couldn’t be happier. We’re going to mix it with the big boys. It’s like a dream. We’re in dreamland, living the dream.”
But little does Little know that outside of dreamland, Blackpool fans can expect Ian Holloway to be sacked by December, by which time the club will have amassed seven points and a wage bill of around £2m a week.
If Gates – who admits to being one of life’s pessimists ever since he lost his virginity to Jordan – is right, there will follow a steep decline that will eventually culminate in relegation to League 2 in 2018.
Published May 24, 2010

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