Bristol Rovers back to basics after squad forgets how to play football during summer break

BRISTOL ROVERS manager Paul Trollope has admitted he has a huge task on his hands to keep his team in League One this season, after all but one player forgot how to play football over the summer.

Trollope was left frustrated when his squad turned up for pre-season with almost no recollection of the basics of the game, and despite an intensive three week course in passing, shooting and defending, his fears were realised when his naïve team lost their opening league fixture 3-0 to Peterborough and went down 6-1 to Oxford United in the Carling Cup

“It’s been a huge challenge, if I’m honest,” said Trollope from Rovers’s secluded training ground in the Avon valley. “Some of the lads were getting really good at football by the end of last season, so to see them regress like this is a real disappointment.”

Trollope instructed his players to practise their keepy-uppies, follow the World Cup, and watch their VHS copies of Michael Owen’s Soccer Skills 1998 while on holiday this summer, but it transpired that only captain and squad swot Stuart Campbell chose to follow his advice.

“Campbsy’s got a bit of reputation for being teacher’s pet,” said Trollope. “But he set an example to the rest of the players, and as the only one left who can remember all eleven positions on the pitch, he’ll have a huge responsibility on his shoulders this weekend.”

Supporters have been warned not to expect anything too fancy from their team until October, by which point Trollope hopes to have introduced the concept of one-touch football and pass and move.

“It’s highly unlikely we’ll see an offside trap being set before Christmas,” he added. “But you never know, we’ve already made huge strides in kicking the ball, jogging backwards, and showing imaginary cards.”

Published August 11, 2010

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