Hundreds of players face position repossession nightmare as credit crunch worsens

THE NOOSE around the neck of global capitalism has tightened once more, with the news that hundreds, perhaps thousands, of professional footballers face having their positions repossessed thanks to the global credit crisis.

Hard-working journeymen throughout the leagues will be faced with mountains of debt their meagre talent levels cannot even begin to finance, as aspirational chairman pay the price for splashing out on designer foreign imports and luxury second strikers.

"When I signed the contract, I was being offered five, six times what I thought was the standard for a two-footed full-back with a good engine room," said one player, who wished to be identified only as Wayne Bridge. "My parents warned me that I should think long and hard about moving to such an affluent part of the league, but back then it seemed as if prices would only keep on going up and up.

"I've made my home out here, hugging the touchline, making the odd burst into the channels," added the dedicated family man, who for a time rented a spot in a Fulham Cottage whilst having a valuation done on his place in Stamford Bridge. "What am I going to do when the manager starts demanding 110%, 120%, 130% every week? I just haven't got that to give."

The situation looks set to put an end to the carefree days of dotted-line signing and agent mark-ups that characterised the Premiership's boom time. Back then, lavish selling prices were paid for seemingly-stylish properties such as Corrado Grabbi, Bosko Balaban and Sasa Curcic. Tottenham were prepared to go to extraordinary lengths in expanding their portfolio, agreeing a fee of £8.1m for modest brick shit-house Dean Richards.

However, turned-up collar workers now face an uncertain future. PFA chairman Gordon Taylor has called for the Football Association's help in preventing players from defaulting on their commitment levels.

"If the FA doesn’t step in – perhaps by nationalising a team, or something – we could see foreclosure on a number of great careers," he said. "The current economic turmoil has shifted pressure onto less credit-worthy professionals. I for one wouldn't want to see Peter Crouch consigned to the scrap-heap just because he has a negative equity. It could be time to downsize, it looks as if cancelling the summer training camp in Marbella may be just the beginning for a number of Premier League families."