Government set to ban dangerous new ‘legal’ football trick

THE GOVERNMENT looks ready to rush through legislation to deal with a new football trick that causes dizziness, insomnia and paranoia.

The reverse step-over is a synthetic trick known to its users by various names including ‘TIZER!’, ‘Hurricane #1′ and ‘Uncle Bastard’. It is almost identical in chemical make-up and effect to the traditional step-over, and according to those who have tried it, easier to learn and more effective.

But A&E departments have been inundated with young people who have become addicted to the skill, showing it off for hours on end long after matches have finished and becoming aggressive and paranoid when challenged.

Dundee policeman Alfred McBalmer said the city was “awash” with reverse step-overs. “We think young people are watching the trick on YouTube videos made in China. It’s cheap and effective but highly addictive and very dangerous.”

Last week a 13-year-old collapsed on the side of the pitch during a Sunday league game in High Wycombe after spending the entirety of the warm up doing reverse step-overs. A further six fatal overdoses were reported by coaches in England at the weekend, although many of these cases involved using the trick as part of a lethal cocktail also containing scorpion kicks.

“We are very concerned about this dangerous new skill,” said government spokesman Neville Southall. “We want to make it a Class B trick which carries a minimum two game suspension and we ask anyone who sees defenders being sold the trick in street soccer games to report it to the ref immediately.”

But a fan of the trick who spoke on condition of anonymity to The Gaffer defended his right to do it. “It’s the nanny state gone political correctness mad,” he said. “I can’t see how it’s any worse than legal tricks which the government can tax, like juggling with the ball or dropping the shoulder. For me and my mates it’s just something fun to do at the weekend.”

Premier League stars have also been spotted using the reverse step-over, the clearest sign yet that the craze has spread to big clubs.

Published April 5, 2010

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