Hull youngster invents away game to avoid grandmother’s funeral

HULL CITY youth-teamer James-Jones Collins has been reprimanded by his mother after concocting an elaborate lie to avoid the tedium of his grandmother’s funeral. Collins told his parents that he would be unable to attend, as he had been drafted into the first team for a midweek match against Ipswich.

According to his girlfriend, 16-year-old wing-back Collins had told close friends he “simply couldn’t be arsed” to sit through a lengthy Catholic service at his grandmother’s church in Derry, Eire.

Initially ‘JJ’ told his family that he had been called in for extra training by Hull youth team boss Billy Russell on the Wednesday in question. When that didn’t cut the ice, his girlfriend suggested he tell his family that he had been called up to the first team squad. His surprised but supportive family congratulated him on the good news, and left without him for Derry.

But when she couldn’t find the score from Ipswich in the next day’s paper, James-Jones’ Mum, Angie, became suspicious. And a cursory glance at the Hull City website confirmed her worst fears: the Tigers weren’t due to travel to Portman Road until the final day of the season.

In a statement, Angie Collins confirmed that she has had “a quiet word in private” with James-Jones about the incident. “How he ever though he’d get away with this is anyone’s guess,” she said. “But he’s a young lad, and he’s learning all the time.” It is believed that James-Jones has been excluded from the next Collins get-together, at the Red Dragon Chinese restaurant in Hull Friday week. However, he is expected to play a role the Sunday after, when his close family visit Flamingo Land in nearby Grimsby. “It’s big day out for him,” Angie said. “I think missing out on his favourite food for the evening is punishment enough.”

Published March 24, 2008

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