Paul Jewell: “Nothing goes your way down at the bottom”

PAUL JEWELL has spoken out about the “all-pervading sense of doom and agony” that clouds his life with his Derby side adrift at the bottom of the Premier League table. Jewell has suffered a seemingly implausible run of bad luck and puts it down to the fact that “that’s just the way things go when you’re down at the bottom”.

Jewell’s woes began when he forgot to pack his lucky club tie for the away trip to Portsmouth on 19 January. “You need a bit of luck in games like that, but we didn’t get any today,” the Derby boss said afterwards.

“A solid club tie can be the difference between a gutsy 0-0 and a demoralising Benjani hat-trick. And I felt like a right muppet when I had to borrow Robbie Savage’s bright yellow one for the after-match drink with ‘Arry.”

Jewell’s run failed to improve the following week. “It was bad enough to lose Tyronne Mears (ruptured achilles) and Mile Sterjovski (iPod finger) in the same week, so imagine my frustration when the laptop crashed just as I’d finished my programme notes. I had to write them from scratch and they’re never as good the second time.”

The following days provided no respite when the manager’s trip to Derby city centre was blighted by a 14 minute wait to use a cash machine that was only giving out twenties, and a subsequent supermarket error which meant that Jewell inadvertently came home with a Kellog’s Variety Pack containing two boxes of Coco Pops and no Ricicles.

The Derby supremo then got the news that his eldest daughter had been left out of the new prefect list at her sixth form college. “It’s disappointing for Laura, she’s done everything right, but just not got that bit of luck you need at sixth form level. But then these are exactly the sorts of decisions that go against you when you’re fighting for your life at the wrong end of the table. Still, we’re just looking to next season now, and it’s very much a case of chin up, ‘what more can go wrong?’ for the rest of this one.” Jewell then called a halt to his impromptu press conference to head off on his traditional morning walk to Spar to pick up the Sunday papers.

Published March 24, 2008

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