Lack of African stereotypes threaten Ghana’s Cup of Nations place

GHANA COULD be excluded from the 2012 African Cup of Nations because they don’t conform to the qualifying criteria that teams must include at least four of the continent’s football characteristics, as outlined by BBC commentators at this year’s tournament.

Suspicions arose when they took to the pitch for their first match of the World Cup against Serbia and were seen to be neither playing with a smile on their faces nor exhibiting an endearingly gung-ho attitude to defensive duties.

“It was obvious from the off that they don’t play the African game in the right spirit,” said Guy Mowbray. “The final nail in their coffin was when goalkeeper Richard Kingson caught a cross rather than eccentrically flapping at it during their workmanlike win over Serbia. That really put the lion among the indomitable pigeons.”

Ghana further undermined their position by failing to be excellent natural born athletes, and by turning in a solid and organised performance, prompting the authorities to investigate the matter. “They should have seen this coming,” said an irate Gerald Sinstadt. “Their LOLs count was ridiculously low for the duration of the game.”

It is thought the Ghanaian Football Association may look to strike a deal to guarantee their place in 2012, possibly involving the selection of three players with the Christian name Cheeky.

If Ghana are thrown out of the tournament it will be a further kick in the teeth for the country that has only just salvaged its reputation after being banned from the Ancient World Olympics for being too frigid.

Published June 14, 2010

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