Steve McClaren: “Our Euro hopes aren’t dead, I’m not ruling out a Serbo-Croat war”

FORMER ENGLAND boss Steve McClaren is refusing to let his ineptitude, the final standings in Qualifying Group E, or the relatively stable current political climate in Eastern Europe dampen his hopes of qualification for Euro 2008.

Speaking during his fourth interview on Inside Sport this year, McClaren said he was “confident” that a forthcoming political summit could trigger a repeat of the bloody wars of the early nineties between Serbia and Croatia, leading to a ban on Croatia in international sporting competitions.

“At the start of the campaign I said I thought qualification would come down to the balance of Eastern European military power after 12 games and what I have seen over the last 18 months hasn’t changed my mind,” McClaren said.

“Denmark famously only qualified for Sweden ‘92 because of fighting in Yugoslavia, and Croatia and Serbia are from a very similar part of the world.” In a blatant attempt at mind games ahead of the economic talks between the nations, McClaren added: “All I would say is that Croatia still have to go to Serbia for the talks and not kill anyone, and it’ll be a pressure cooker atmosphere out there.”

The England players have also been crossing their fingers for bloody scenes to devastate the Balkans once again. Steven Gerrard and Peter Crouch were seen bantering with the Serbian warlord Arkan at Aintree this weekend, and hopes are high among the playing staff that Serbia can pull through for them. Crouch told reporters: “We told him he’d be doing us a right favour if he managed to keep his promise of exacting a savage revenge on the illegal state of Croatia.”

Manchester United prankster Rio Ferdinand has also pitched in by spraying graffiti on teammate Nemanja Vidic’s locker. The crudely-scrawled message reads: “You and all your Serbian chums are gay together and you like it. Gayboys! Love from Robert Prosinecki and Davor Šuker.” Ferdinand told a close friend: “He’ll be absolutely spitting about this, people from the Eastern Bloc are well homophobic”.

Published April 18, 2008

Related Posts