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- David Bentley admits that sometimes even he forgets that he's still at Spurs
- Portsmouth bell man enters administration, will be deducted 10 tattoos
- Moussa-T Dembele: "I'm horny. Horny, horny, horny."
- Newcastle warned that value of Demba Ba may go down as well as up
- AVB plans BBQ with his new CFC MONEY
- Ipswich Town clubshop reduce price of 9-0 Man Utd defeat video for fourth time
- Newcastle warned that if they do not keep up Ba repayments the Sports Direct Arena may be repossessed
- Martin O'Neill blames unspecified glitch for Steve Bruce Twitter unfollow
- Burlesque fan McCoist reveals excitement at Rangers asset-stripping
- Abramovich admits Russia's thirst for regime change got to him
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Every game from now on is a Cup Final, boss tells Wembley staff
Staff at Wembley Stadium have been told not to ease off as every game is a Cup Final. Literally.
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West Ham’s parachute payment blown off course and into arms of delighted Leyton Orient
Gold and Sullivan demand defiant Hearn returns first instalment of £12m immediately
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Slighted Aston Villa players invade the stands after nonplussed fans fail to come onto pitch
Final match of season marred as players ignore the calls of the police to return to the dressing room
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Big Four of journalists is a closed shop, complains Guardian’s Barry Glendenning
Respected Irishman says hegemony at the top of journalism makes the competition of football writing less interesting for everyone
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Man recovers at home after overdosing in pub on Sunday 4pm kick-offs
Sheepish football fan admits trying to consume four games simultaneously ‘not a good idea’
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Ian Holloway ‘losing sleep’ as Neil Warnock prepares to replace him as Premier League’s funniest manager
Blackpool manager’s status as biggest character in top flight under threat after famously amusing QPR boss wins promotion
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Select committee investigate why 2018 bid team failed to offer bribes
Contrite FA admit focus on technical aspects of bid was “wholly unprofessional”
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Match of the Day bows to pressure to introduce AV for goal of the season ballot
Controversial move follows bitter dispute that nearly tore punditry team apart
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QPR face punishment of playing Premier League season in vest and pants
FA hands out traditional PE teacher penalty to send clear message about third-party ownership
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David Beckham’s plus one Gary Neville worried he won’t know anyone at Royal Wedding
Red Nev prepares for boring afternoon of small talk and pleasantries with toffs
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Where Are They Now?: Manchester United 9 – 0 Ipswich Town
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The Big Debate: Has football become racist again?
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Where Are They Now?: Sutton upset Coventry in the 1989 FA Cup
- ...in 2003 England win the Rugby World Cup and the sport overtakes football in popularity for the first time, a position it has held ever since
- ...in 1971 Repeal of the primitive Victorian legislation that outlawed keepy-uppies as a form of masturbation
- ...in 1965 Geoff Hurst admits to a friend that he has absolutely no anecdotes about his life so far
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- 2.4 Children, the sitcom Nile Ranger watches to take his mind off football
- 404 Internet error code which frequently frustrates novice computer user Harry Redknapp
- Se7en Joey Barton's second favourite Morgan Freeman film after March of the Penguins
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- First Glen Johnson steals toilet seat. Now Ant Worrall-Thompson steals cheese. I say bring back death penalty. - Clive, Humberside
- I agree with Clive, sudden death penalties are super! - Stefan, Germany
- IF ANY1 DESERVES DEATH IS PREMIER LEAGUE REFS! THAT WAS NEVER A RED!!!!111 - Smiley Rod, Burwash
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