Roy Hodgson finally admits that being an owl is getting in the way of managing West Brom

WEST BROMWICH Albion boss Roy Hodgson has finally admitted that after 35 years in management the constraints placed upon him by being an owl are beginning to take their toll.

Hodgson, 64 (62 in avian years), has broken his silence about his debilitating condition, which may at last explain his sacking by Grasshopper in 2000 for eating the club mascot.

“It can be very tricky making it to away matches,” Hodgson told reporters, noting that it took him seven hours to fly to Newcastle for West Brom’s game in December. “And of course as I’ve got older I can’t turn my head a full 270 degrees any more, so I don’t always know precisely what’s going on at either end of the pitch.”

The FA have refused repeated requests for all of West Brom’s games to be moved to the evening – when the nocturnal Hodgson is at his most alert – exacerbating his problems. “I reckon I’ve got another season in me, tops,” Hodgson added, “then after that I fear it’ll be time to settle down in a nice sanctuary somewhere in the countryside.”

Hodgson – who was diagnosed as a great grey owl when he was 12, spending his teenage years hunting insects and small rodents – showed remarkable determination in trying to forge a career as a footballer in the 60s and 70s, but never made the big time, mostly as a result of the bigotry of the era, which made it almost impossible for anyone who wasn’t white and human to progress beyond the lower leagues.

Undeterred, he moved into management, making waves with a number of clubs in Sweden, which has long had a progressive and open attitude towards owls in public life, even introducing a parliament of owls as an elected upper chamber after world war two. 

A successful career ensued, during which Hodgson earned a reputation as the friendliest owl in football, an accolade he holds to this day despite his fondness for spending at least seven hours a day perched in a tree on his own while winking mischievously. 

After a disastrous stint with Liverpool last season that was dogged by rumours that the Liver birds personally disapproved of his appointment, Hodgson moved to West Brom, and has kept the club hovering just above the drop zone, but at a cost to his feathers which have lost the lustrous shine that earned him many admirers in the world of ornithology in his younger years.

Published January 26, 2012

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