ITV veterans Saint and Greavsie found still fighting ratings war a decade after it ended

AFTER TWENTY years in the wilderness Ian St John and Jimmy Greaves were discovered yesterday in the boiler room of LWT, still fighting a ratings war with Football Focus despite the fact that their producers had surrendered in 1994.

LWT runner Lewis Wise had been sent down to the company’s basement to look for amusing footage from Nicholas Lyndhurst sitcom The Piglet Files for It’ll Be Alright On The Night 76. Instead the young employee discovered St John and Greaves in full flow in front of what he could only describe as a “camera made from loo rolls and Toilet Duck”.

“Greavsie was making jokes about Jim Leighton’s abilities as a shot stopper while Saint laughed uncontrollably, it was like nothing had changed,” said Wise. “Then they looked up and saw me. Saint seemed most upset and said that it was basic etiquette to not enter a studio when the red light was lit, but he soon got over his flash of anger when he realised I could act as the independent adjudicator for the upcoming Rumbelows Cup Draw.”

It is thought that the pair originally went down to the basement in summer 1994 to look for a lifesize cardboard cutout of John Harkes made for a feature called “Stars and Cripes!!!” but became stuck when a pile of Shoot! backissues collapsed in front of the goods lift.

Presuming them dead, no-one got a message to the duo that their show had lost the ratings war and was going to be replaced with an extended version of The Chart Show, presented by Bruno Brookes.

After the discovery the star pairing were escorted from the premises by security, and with what onlookers described as a “cheery wave”, St John claimed that “they’d be back tonight to record a special edition of Sport in Question.”

Published September 10, 2008

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