Chelsea scouting network revealed to be copy of Match from 2005

BIG ‘PHIL’ Scolari has revealed the secret behind the advanced scouting network which has led Chelsea to target Deco and Robinho as summer signings: a hardback copy of the Match Annual 2005.

Scolari told a packed press conference that he was delighted when Steve Clarke showed him the intricacies of the 128-page dossier on his first day in the job.

He then proceeded to excitedly flick through the publication, gasping with awe as he pointed to the ‘STAR PLAYER!’ logo emblazoned across the pullout poster of a then 26-year-old Deco in his Barcelona heyday. Scolari said of the playmaker: “The information we have been supplied with through our new setup confirmed to me that as a creative midfielder Deco is mega, with a super-scorcher strike, while his favourite food is pizza.”

Chelsea’s much-admired worldwide scouting network was launched when Peter Kenyon found it in the bargain bin of the Kings Road Woolworths in 2006, replacing the previous network, a print out of Jose Mourinho’s 2003/04 FC Porto teamsheet.

In line with the revolutionary transfer policy, Scolari has already offered Real Madrid £45million for their Brazilian hotshot Ronaldo, while his remaining summer transfer targets include Zinedine Zidane and Bayern Munich talisman Michael Ballack.

The ability of Chelsea’s network to identify the best in fading European talent peaked with the arrivals at Stamford Bridge of Carling Cup specialist Andrei Shevchenko and ex-Bayern Munich talisman Michael Ballack in 2006.
Some believe that watertight scouting practices have made it harder for home-grown players at Chelsea, however Frank Lampard believes competition for places can only be good for the club, saying: “Right, I’m off then. Anyone want anything from Milan? See you later.”

While Chelsea continue to profit from their unique scouting methods, other top clubs have been using their own methods to keep pace with the Blues. Carlos Queiroz has revealed that Manchester United’s top brass have thrown a lot of money at a very detailed map of Portugal, while it is strongly rumoured that Rafael Benitez has a video library of England Under-21 matches from 1998-2002.

Published September 15, 2008

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