Try-hard white man insists he is “totally down” with the African Cup of Nations

A FOOTBALL supporter has insisted to friends that he is really getting into this year’s African Cup of Nations, despite suspicions from those that know him best that he is just jumping on the latest obscure and trendy bandwagon.

Casper Fortune reportedly spent his Sunday evening watching Angola triumph over Burkina Faso projected onto a sheet in his carefully untidy Dalston flat and reported that “it’s the future of football, guys.

“It’s so good to see the game finally being played with a smile on its face, you know,” said Fortune. “Not a lot of people know about African football, but actually the standard is surprisingly high. I think the Ivory Coast Elephants can go all the way this year.

“You probably haven’t heard of them but they’ve actually got some really good players.”

Fortune’s interest in African football mirrors similar recent obsessions for the unemployed music video director, 24. In recent months he has enthusiastically endorsed the films of Spike Lee, the music of De La Soul and the late-night radio broadcasts of Dotun Adebayo.

“The thing is with African football is that basically all football is derived from it in some way,” said Fortune. “People have been exploiting it for years. Not a lot of people know that Paul Simon’s Graceland is actually a concept album about the Ghana midfield that won them the title in 1982.”

Friends of Fortune are now used to his rapidly changing tastes. “Casper’s been through several phases in the last few years,” said Lulu Broxholm, a 24-year-old fashion consultant, currently unemployed. “He wore a turban for no reason for the entirety of 2010 and last year he ordered a set of personalised sweatbands with ‘Fortune favours the rave’ printed on them.

“He read about this football tournament in Vice, but he’ll probably have moved on to something else next week. I hear the Johnstone’s Paint Trophy is, like, totally random.”

Published January 25, 2012

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