THE ALL England Club were subject to intense criticism last night after an administrative mix-up led to AFC Wimbledon being scheduled to play a friendly against Ebbsfleet Utd on centre court this coming Friday.
The match, set to take place in between a men’s singles semi-final and mixed doubles quarter-final on Centre Court, will go ahead despite fears from tournament officials that a football match played on a tennis court “will not make sense”, and may “anger and confuse” tennis fans who may have paid upwards of £150 for a seat at the prestigious event.
Head of Scheduling at the All England Club, Mike Varney, revealed that rumours that the match would be moved to Milton Keynes were untrue as it would “not be fair” to the dozens of non-league football fans who may have a casual interest in the match. In an astonishing rant Varney told press that he had “always thought such a mix up was an inevitability, after numerous requests to rename Wimbledon as Tennisfest UK to prevent such an error were rejected by stuffy traditionalists who could stuff their strawberries and cream up their bollix.”
Meanwhile, AFC’s Canadian midfielder Elliot Godfrey has claimed that his team-mates are not fazed by their predicament, and relish the chance to play at one of England’s most famous sporting venues. “Every footballer dreams of Wembley,” he said. “In a way, Centre Court is the next best thing, apart from the Millennium Stadium, of course, that’s awesome.”
The error recalls 1997’s infamous West Indies v Man Utd Test match, which resulted from similar confusion over Old Trafford football and cricket grounds. In the end Man Utd were bowled out in under an hour despite moving into an eight goal lead before tea.
Published August 31, 2008

Government announces controversial plans to shut Northern rumour mills
Spurs: “Champions League money won’t change us”
BBC pleads for patience as Colin Murray irons out early-season MOTD2 jitters
“Title race wide open” says Ferguson after Arsenal lose alphabetical lead
Bristol Rovers back to basics after squad forgets how to play football during summer break

