This Week In Football Archives

January 2012
...in 2003 England win the Rugby World Cup and the sport overtakes football in popularity for the first time, a position it has held ever since
...in 1971 Repeal of the primitive Victorian legislation that outlawed keepy-uppies as a form of masturbation
...in 1965 Geoff Hurst admits to a friend that he has absolutely no anecdotes about his life so far
December 2011
...in 1995 Blackburn win Premier League title after splashing cash on megastars Jason Wilcox and Henning Berg
...in 2001 Kim Jong-Il retires immediately from football after scoring 17 goals on his debut against Manchester United
...in 1997 Channel Five is launched and proposes a bold policy of breaking even within 15 years by televising Cup Winners Cup football
September 2011
...in 1990 England's World Cup disappointment is compounded after The Locamotion beats World in Motion to the best single gong at the Smash Hits Awards
...in 1994 On his return to England Gary Lineker is mortified to find out that in his two years away the popularity of the crisp has dropped to an all-time low and sets about changing things
...in 1996 Liverpool's Spice Boys' Macarena goal celebration goes disastrously wrong after Robbie Fowler accidentally touches Phil Babb's arse
June 2011
...in 1955 Everton legend Dixie Dean marks death of brother James by scoring eight goals in a game
...in 1988 FA bosses attempt to capitalise on darts mania by awarding triple points for goals scored into 20 tiny sections of the net
...in 1923 A White Horse famously scores the winning goal in the FA Cup Final between Bolton and West Ham, which is now better known as the Allardyce Final. For 86 years the goal remained the last to be scored by an animal at Wembley until a crow scored a consolation for Scunthorpe in their 2009 Johnstone’s Paint Trophy defeat to Luton
April 2011
...in 2010 Twitter hashtag fever sweeps the Birmingham City dressing room, with Lee Bowyer adding the text "#justsayin" to all of his tweets, and eventually, all of his spoken sentences
...in 1509 The FA outlaws morris dancing in goal celebrations, fearing it will excite spectators and lead to a peasant's revolution. The law remains in place to this day
...in 18,000 BC Dozens of games are postponed in Scotland and all over the world, due to an Ice Age
...in 1986 Everton's players award themselves the European Cup they would almost certainly have won
...in 1964 In a vineyard in the Dordogne the perfect bottle of red wine is created. 46 years later Big Sam Allardyce completely fails to appreciate it’s subtleties in a post match drink with Sir Alex Ferguson
...in 1993 Government drafts stringent knife crime legislation after mass violence at cup tie between Dagenham and Redbridge and Sheffield United
March 2011
...in 2005 Martin O'Neill makes an appearance on Richard & Judy's Book Club but disappoints hosts by refusing to discuss any book that didn't involve at least one crime
...in 1988 Liverpool release the Anfield Rap at the height of a fierce Merseyside turf war. Craig Johnston is hurt in a drive-by retaliation two days later
...in 1995 After years of research and experiments Yeovil University reveals the scientific difference between a cult hero and a normal hero
...in 2106 Wigan confound "too bad to stay up" pre-season predictions for 100th year running
...in 1945 Portsmouth livid as peace means they will have to defend FA Cup
...in 1991 The Taylor Report brings an end to rave culture as revellers are banned from meeting in fields that are not all-seater
February 2011
...in 1974 For one brief but brilliant weekend every First Division footballer sports sideburns longer than six centimetres
...in 1890 Due to their belief that playing with one's self was "morally unclean devilry " the FA bans keepy-uppies
...in 2005 East 17's Brian Harvey deliberately runs himself over with his own car after learning Leyton Orient's defeat to Northampton had sent them bottom of League One
...in 1704 Old Etonian Casual Engineers mock "philistine" opponents Wanderers for attempting to "score" in newly-introduced "goals"
...in 1989 Sooty's sidekick Sweep is introduced to mirror the tactical adulation for sweepers at the time
...in 1994 Confused Giggs discovers loss of form is a product of a small stone in his left boot
January 2011
...in 1977 Moral campaigner Mary Whitehouse petitions the government to send Billy Bremner back to Scotland after a series of violent challenges which she described as "symptomatic of a permissive society"
...in 2001 Conspiracy theorist Keith Gillespie tells his Blackburn teammates that 9/11 was an inside job
...in 1897 Sir Arthur Conan Doyle publishes his unpopular short story Sherlock Holmes case of the Missing Wing Back
December 2010
...in 2000 Gunnar Halle wakes up stunned that his computer is still working
...in 1984 Dystopian Fairs Cup competition features dressing room surveillance, Victory half-time Tea and creepy advertising boards claiming 'Big Neville is watching you'
...in 1916 War! What is it good for? A kickabout on Christmas Day with Gerry German. Best. Christmas. Ever.
November 2010
...in 2003 Premier League Phyisos Union adopt fashionable Hot Hot Heat song Bandages as their official theme tune in an attempt to modernise
...in 1995 Kevin Keegan admits he would "love it" if Mike Flowers Pops beats Michael Jackson's Earth Song to Christmas number one, "love it"
...in 2009 News of Oasis split reaches other Cool Britannia icon Rob Lee on holiday with Warren Barton and Darren Peacock in Mexico. The ‘Three Amigos’ console themselves with 8 frozen margaritas each and several borderline racist comments to local bar staff.
...in 1991 War erupts in Yugoslavia after Croatia makes the controversial suggestion of incorporating a checked pattern into the nation's football kit
...in 1992 Misunderstanding the new backpass rule, Glenn Hoddle's Swindon Town play out the first half of the season without making a single backward pass
...in 1981 Hereford United livid, as Charles and Diana's wedding becomes the best 'fairytale moment' in living memory
October 2010
...in 2001 Alan Shearer calls Ryan Giggs to suggest both players change their squad numbers out of respect for the 9/11 fallen. Giggs, a famed technophobe, accidentally hangs up
...in 1973 Johann Cruyff hears Johnny Rep slagging him off in training. Turning round quickly to confront him he accidentally invents a new move
...in 1921 The invention of the ball adds a new edge to the popular game of foot
...in 1984 After a six month stand off Maggie Thatcher finally breaks the resolve of the National Union of Sweepers and they return to work
...in 2004 In a cruel prank, the BBC's head of dialect tells John Motson that Chelsea's new signing's name is pronounced "D.D.A. Drog-bar"
...in 1997 Christian Gross makes a point at his unveiling as Spurs boss by brandishing a 4 Zone travelcard. His criticisms of the outdated system led to the introduction of the Oyster six years later
September 2010
...in 1974 On a pre-season tour at the height of Liverpool-mania, Bill Shankly tells the American press that his team are “bigger than the Beatles”. Outraged Beatles fans boycott Liverpool’s games and burn club shirts in protest, until Shankly issues an apology
...in 2009 Roberto Martinez appears on Trafalgar Square's fourth plinth and explains his passing football philosophy to a largely unimpressed crowd of nine
...in 1992 Ben Thornley agrees with David Beckham that they will be patrolling the wings of Man Utd and England together "for the next decade"
August 2010
...in 2008 Michael Owen tells friends "at last there is an England manager that will know how to get the best out of me"
...in 1992 Football officially "got good"
...in 1995 As Britain chooses between Blur and Oasis, Terry Venables drops Matt Le Tissier from his England squad for saying he prefers Gene
July 2010
...in 1975 Gerry Francis’ wife goes into labour while the QPR star is having a haircut. Francis grows to love the unfinished ‘short on top, long at the back’ style and has stuck with it to this day
June 2010
...in 1997 A young Tommy Svindal Larsen parties all night in Olso after seeing his stats in the newly released Championship Manager
...in 2001 A drunk Gareth Barry states that plan to name his first son Gary is 'best idea ever'
...in 2003 The Rocky Santa Cruz Horror Show starts a short lived tour of South American theatres
...in 1967 George Cohen has to remind his wife he was in England's World Cup winning team
...in 1994 With time on his hands after quitting professional football, Gary Lineker invents the crisp
...in 1948 Bourneville end Quaker policy of force-feeding Birmingham’s footballers chocolate, leading to slimmer players and better results
...in 2007 Lightning Seeds deny selling out by rereleasing Life of Riley to coincide with Mike’s autobiography
...in 2004 Mr Kipling launches the Clattenburg cake onto the UK market after a stellar performance by Mark at the Division One play-off final
...in 1163 England begin 803 year countdown to hosting of World Cup
...in 1972 IPC Media apologises after their 'Roy Race goes on team holiday to Ibiza' storyline is considered to set a bad example to children
...in 1996 Gareth Southgate tells team mates he's going back to the changing room as you can't replicate the pressure of a real penalty shoot out on the training pitch
May 2010
...in 1994 With time on his hands after quitting professional football, Gary Lineker invents the crisp
...in 1979 Kevin Keegan returns copy of Joy Division’s Unknown Pleasures after ill-fated attempt to ‘get down with the kids’
...in 1947 Making a comment about the lack of baggyness in Ted Drake's England shorts, Stanley Matthews inadvertently invents dressing room banter
...in 1066 English plans to push up and catch the Norman attacks offside prove tactically naive
...in 2001 Mark Fish replaces Mark Rivers as football’s representative at the Environment Agency
...in 100BC Ancestor of Glenn Hoddle blames lack of Christian religion for spate of violence against disabled residents of Canaan
...in 1989 Nick Hornby's friend tells him to "shut up about Michael Thomas and write a book if it means that much to you"
...in 1973 It’s Ian Rush’s turn to go in goal in a kickabout after school, but he insists on being allowed to leave the area to join in attacks. His mates reluctantly agree and a staple of playground football is born
...in 1862 Emancipation of the slaves in the US as MLS finally agrees to pay its players a wage
April 2010
...in 1991 Symmetry fan Andy Sinton enjoys another day of his favourite year
...in 1997 In a controversial move the Leyton Orient matchday programme switches its backing to Tony Blair's Labour party for the upcoming election
...in 1952 Accusations of embezzlement during his time as milk monitor don't stop Terry Venables from taking up the role of senior prefect in charge of tuck at his school
...in 2007 Steve Claridge, having fulfilled his ambition to play for every league club twice secures a loan move to 'the radio'
...in 1974 After visiting a farming relative, Charlie George brings the mutton chop sideburn to cosmopolitan north London
...in 1834 Emerging game of football is named the nation's third favourite sport behind evergreen favourites 'wife-carrying' and 'hunt the darkie'
...in 33 Jesus dies. Pundits agree he had lost a lot of pace in his final years and had to concentrate on spreading the word from the centre of the pitch
...in 1990 Sarah Cracknell and Bob Stanley quit Saint Etienne first team and rile club by forming indie dance group with identical name
...in 1983/1852 Discovering he has an unusual knack for finding space in a 16 yard rectangle, Leicestershire fruit-seller Gary Lineker builds a time machine to go back 151 years to invent a sport in which this useless skill will suddenly lead to huge wealth
...in 1290 Marco Polo returns from the Silk Road with satin, perfumes and two promising Persian youngsters for Sam Allardyce
...in 1950 Uruguay win second World Cup that almost no-one will remember

This Week In Football Archives

January 2012

December 2011

September 2011

June 2011

April 2011

March 2011

February 2011

January 2011

December 2010

November 2010

October 2010

September 2010

August 2010

July 2010

June 2010

May 2010

April 2010