Ferguson appoints Hilary Clinton as his assistant in bid to attract undecided fans to United
New York senator hopes to prove influential among those would traditionally vote Wenger

Kit manufacturer Admiral blames England's 1978 World Cup failure for its decline in fortunes
Former giant of shirt design reveals when it went wrong at launch of new DVD

Traditionalists blast secret plans to grant referee David Ellery a full state funeral
Sir Bert Millichip calls the controversial uncovered document 'sick'

Palace player apologises for 'completely humiliating' Facebook gaffe
Youth-team midfielder displays wall-post naivety then makes grammatically clumsy status update

Tyldesley to meet 'dodgy' Swiss director for peace talks ahead of new season
Clive meets Euro 08 director he spent the summer slagging off

City's Jo is 'tip of the iceberg' in rubbish Brazillian names crisis
Concerns grow for beleagured nation as footballers adopt English working class names

Chelsea scouting network revealed to be a copy of the Match Annual 2005
Scolari delighted with hardback dossier on the world's top talent three years ago & eight free posters

ITV veterans Saint and Greavsie found still fighting ratings war
A runner at LWT discovers football's satirical forefathers in a basement still living in 1994

Hundreds of players face position repossession nightmare
Credit crunch could lead to players having to give as much as 130% in the modern game

Wimbledon organisers defend non-league friendly mix-up
The All England Club have confirmed a clerical error has given AFC Wimbledon a chance to shine

Ince ends era of discrimination against names that start with "i"
Paul Ince's Blackburn Rovers appointment is the first step to correcting an antiquated bias

Unpopular MK Dons fear bullying from League One's 'bigger boys'
Unconfident 'new boy' club worries that new season will bring taunts about being adopted

Carnival atmosphere mars opening of Euro '08
Sick scenes of frivolity sweep through Austria and Switzerland as carnivalism rears its ugly head

Beckham backs USA for Euros due to contractual obligation
MLS rules prevent Goldenballs from supporting anyone but the good old US of A

New yellow card moves too much in the air say referees
Referees complain that new Euro 2008 yellow card is far too light

Rochdale fans, players, manager, backroom staff, board: "fuck this"
Rochdale AFC take the ultimate step after yet again failing to get out of League Two

Kanu's first name is declared legally dead
Years of uncertainty ends as forename which has been missing since 1999, is declared deceased

Hardcore Gareth Barry fan worried his favourite player is going mainstream
Villa midfielder's rumoured move to a major is "selling out", say concerned fans

Merseyside clubs' new kits to include permanent black armbands
City of Liverpool's proud history of over-reaction to death marked in new shirt design

Wenger's "director’s cut" for Arsenal season review DVD
Arsene's cut is included, after nationally-released version fails to fulfil his artistic and creative hopes

Spring 2008 Archive