We all love tuning in to Manish Bhasin and his team of football experts on a Saturday lunchtime, but have you ever imagined what it might be like to be one of the men in the dream factory? Well, imagine no more! Just answer these simple questions to find out which member of the Football Focus team you would be.

You are making an after-dinner speech at a Carphone Warehouse corporate awards ceremony when a drunk salesman heckles you. You:

a) Say "Hark at her. I remember the first time I got drunk too, love" then call your good friend John Motson relaying what happened, to make sure he buys his new mobile from Phones4U.

b) Presume he is asking about your involvement in the 1981 FA Cup final and move into a long anecdote about Ricky Villa’s rudimentary understanding of the English language.

c) Tell him he must resist Satan’s illicit temptations, and that getting drunk is an affront to God’s love of his many children. Then stroke your trendy beard.

You get slightly bored while watching a preview of The Dark Knight, the new Batman movie starring Christian Bale, at your local multiplex. You:

a) Text your good friend John Motson with a very funny joke about how with Christian Bale’s wooden acting, it may as well be former Southampton wing-back Gareth Bale up there on the screen.

b) Consider suggesting a dream double interview with David Batty and Robin Van Persie for this week’s Focus, allowing a stretched pastiche of Batman with you asking questions in the style of The Riddler.

c) Stroke your well-styled beard safe in the knowledge that Batman’s powers pale in comparison to those of the Saviour, or indeed you during your Indian Summer at QPR with Little John Spencer banging them in for fun up front.

Gary Lineker tells you he is going out for a game of golf with Alan and Alan and invites you along. You:

a) Say "Your biggest handicap on the golf course is those dreadful trousers Gary" and repeat your comment to your good friend John Motson he caddies your clubs to the tricky seventh.

b) Express surprise that he has invited along such small cog in the BBC Sport machine as yourself, then turn up to find he actually meant to invite the country singer Garth Brooks, who is a much bigger star and a great four balls partner.

c) Stay in to stroke your beard and have a bit of a pray.

Mostly A’s: What are you doing online, you geek? You are Mark Lawrenson.

Mostly B’s: Put on your cagoule, you’re off to Marine to report on a potential 1st Round FA Cup upset! You are Garth Crooks.

Mostly C’s: Praise the Lord! You are Gavin Peacock.