The Gaffer

!BREAKING NEWS!  -  Phil Babb commits to Golfpunk until January  -   Cash strapped Saints order Wright-Phillips and Dyer to nick more stuff   -   Presenters of T4's Popworld are the acceptable faces of Man City takeover   -   Wolves striker: "I'm just your average Sylvain Ebanks-Bloke"   -   Exeter blame home defeat on unlucky cathedral   -   Irate head of referees suggests Alan Wiley is still wearing his Rolex during matches   -   Garth Crooks: "Fernando Torres, my team of the week, ribbit, ribbit, ribbit"   -   Capello rules out Dorigo recall   -   Hold The Line and Africa compete to be new inter-Toto Cup anthem   -   McClaren: "I was doing my Sean Connery impression, you cruel bastards"   -   Bonkers Gascoigne addicted to Chewits and ghost stories   -   Liverpool directors blame credit crunch for Jermaine Pennant   -   Punk fan Stuart Pearce claims: "There's more to Hot Hot Heat than Bandages"   -   Leroy Litre is the new face of metric measurements in UK schools   -   !BREACKER NEWS! Tim tells psychiatrist "I'll always have the memories of my Merlin albums"
Redknapp and the transfer window hours before the deadline

Curbishley: "I never even met Hayden Mullins"

Ex-West Ham boss reveals extreme limitations to his Upton Park role meant he more time with the boys in Upton Park IT than with his team

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Our Jimmy, our hero New comic strip will chart the amazing rise of Jimmy Bullard

Everyone's favourite Fulham player stars in new rags-to-riches cartoon

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Arsenal sign Olympic diving wonderkid Tom Daley

Young sensation 'thrilled' at the prospect of working with Pat Rice

Gareth Barry transfer saga to be made into Hollywood blockbuster

Universal sign up all-star cast for megabucks movie about Barry's protracted move from Aston Villa

Redknapp and the transfer window hours before the deadline Chaos at Portsmouth as Redknapp forgets to close the transfer window

Pompey boss admits mistake which left him with redder face than usual

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Rio Ferdinand too embarrassed to tell Terry he's been merked

Wind up at the expense of England 'captain' spells heartache and tears

Man wonders what he will do with his time now the transfer window is almost closed

Long, boring, winter without transfers promises many boring visits to B&Q for accountant

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