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- Comic fan Ray Wilkins says Clark Kent is a "super young man"
- Diabetic Tony Hibbert reveals a very sweet strike could kill him
- Partially submerged Le Tissier blamed for sinking cruise ship
- Speeding Waddle issued with pelanty notice
- Bebe inspired by Pato Banton to return from loan spell
- Madame Tussauds spokesman claims Andy Carroll waxwork will be turned into Vernon Kay
- Burridge: "Sturridge has courage"
- Sourpuss Ched Evans refuses to refer to son as 'mini Cheddars'
- Hughes begins QPR overhaul by employing Kia Joorabchian as highly-paid director of mascots
- Unemployed Bruce reluctantly surrenders Carthage during gripping game of Civilization 2
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Harry Redknapp’s trial of new glasses concludes with manager returning a verdict of ‘stylish’
Lenghty examination over with Redknapp looking forward to new life of reading and looking dignified.
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FA chief David Bernstein toasts success of annual bring and buy sale for desperate managers
Sky’s Jim White in attendance as players traded for for home-made cakes, knick-knacks and VHS players
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Roy Hodgson finally admits that being an owl is getting in the way of managing West Brom
Popular boss signals imminent retirement to sanctuary after struggling with flights to away games
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Try-hard white man insists he is “totally down” with the African Cup of Nations
Friends tiring of antics of fashionable Dalston resident who has recently watched the film Do The Right Thing.
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Court hears Harry Redknapp habitually orders water when getting his round in
Tottenham manager also accused of undertipping and cadging rollies off Joe Jordan
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Wacky Mario Balotelli delights nation with cheeky stamp on Scott Parker’s head
Manchester City forward’s act of violence lights up Super Sunday
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Wronged Rhodri Giggs demands Ryan Giggs’ place on William Hill window display
Underachieving brother says Ryan must show he is sorry by surrendering his dearest possession.
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Manchester City’s indifferent form put down to Roberto Mancini’s obsession with imaginary objects
Staff ‘baffled’ after Italian arrives at ground pretending to drive imaginary car.
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Darlington FC furious after only being given 47 hours to save themselves
Crisis club livid at not being afforded the traditional two-day period to avoid total financial meltdown.
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Kenny Dalglish creates Mark Knopfler museum in last ditch attempt to make Andy Carroll feel more at home in Liverpool
Liverpool manager attempts to cure striker’s homesickness with series of Geordie-pleasing measures
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The Big Debate: Has football become racist again?
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Where Are They Now?: Sutton upset Coventry in the 1989 FA Cup
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Where Are They Now?: Michael Thomas snatches the title at Anfield in 1989
- ...in 2003 England win the Rugby World Cup and the sport overtakes football in popularity for the first time, a position it has held ever since
- ...in 1971 Repeal of the primitive Victorian legislation that outlawed keepy-uppies as a form of masturbation
- ...in 1965 Geoff Hurst admits to a friend that he has absolutely no anecdotes about his life so far
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- 2.4 Children, the sitcom Nile Ranger watches to take his mind off football
- 404 Internet error code which frequently frustrates novice computer user Harry Redknapp
- Se7en Joey Barton's second favourite Morgan Freeman film after March of the Penguins
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- First Glen Johnson steals toilet seat. Now Ant Worrall-Thompson steals cheese. I say bring back death penalty. - Clive, Humberside
- I agree with Clive, sudden death penalties are super! - Stefan, Germany
- IF ANY1 DESERVES DEATH IS PREMIER LEAGUE REFS! THAT WAS NEVER A RED!!!!111 - Smiley Rod, Burwash
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